Deeper-valley

Dearest shadow,


This year's deepavali was just as boring as the last. We've been following the same routine for the longest time. My father visits his mom and dad, then we are off to his two aunt's houses. Then, my mum drags us to visit all the imbeciles on her side. We fall at their feet to get blessings. stuff our faces with the tidbits and soft drinks, take any money they give us and give my mum some money for all the cab fare that day....


Yes. It's really that boring.

The only thing that I really really look forward to is the prayers on the eve of deepavali. It's gives me a little hope that I'll truly get some blessings and a little nudge along the way. But other than that, I realised and become so accustomed to how lousy my extended family really is. Its full of people who are constantly jealous of you. They are either too poor, too fat or too sick to feel happy and live positively. They must make comments about how spoiled my face has become, how I've not gained weight and of course ask about my constant pursuit of excellence in the fields of education and music.


I don't know long more this stupid routine will continue. And how long more I'll bother hanging up curtains and cleaning my house to welcome all these lousy, emotionally burdened imbeciles into my house to celebrate a day which is meant to celebrate the triumph of light over darkness, of knowledge over ignorance. HOW IRONIC. My dear krishna must be having fits of laughter on that day. I shall laugh with him.


Perhaps it will continue, for much much longer. Till I learn the lesson from this. That I can choose to look the other way. Rejoice in the fact that I'm ALWAYS who I am. I am not a walking advice dispensing machine. And remember that I always need to switch off all my impulses on that day. Behave like a battery operated doll whose movements are dictated by the self-proclaimed-pseudo-god....aka my loving, good natured but very ignorant and misguided mother.



Till the day I can properly and freely assert my independence from the pathetic imbeciles, deepavali will only cut a deeper valley between rhetoric and reality, my relationships with people and my inner patience-vs-anger battle.



I'm going to imagine seeing light now....at the end of a very very far tunnel :)



P.S. oh hindsight, I might have been too harsh with my words. Will stick to idiots IF my temper cooperates.