should've, could've...

Dearest shadow,


I am blogging from work right now... I do have things to do but I guess that I'll do those things later...I have things to get off my chest.


I love my job. I love where I work and and the majority of my colleagues. I find myself slowly being drained of energy by 3 of my colleagues. Lets call them idiots shall we?


All three idiots share one thing in common. They are square. If you put them in a square box, they will fit. You can calculate the depth of their understanding by using a formula. Just your basic primary one math. Length times breadth. But wait. then again, they may not have breadth of knowledge. They are that one dimensional. so I think it's safer to stick to just length times 0.



The other thing that the idiots share is a serious lack of awareness. Or tactfulness. They are agents for unsolicited advice. Always talking and commenting on things that they do not have an understanding of. While I know that idiots exist, I find it difficult to accomodate them. At first, there were only two idiots.


Now there is a third. Little miss i'm from an elitist girls school. I was forced to do ballet and take etiquette classes. Little miss I was repressed and I need to pass it on. Sad but true. She fits my narrow minded, stereotypical view of people from girls schools. I can think of two people who don't fit the norm. or maybe 3. but that's about it. I ask myself if it's my stereotype that prevents me from liking this person. But the more I see of it, the more I try to open myself up to like this person, the more I get stupid comments.


I'm grouchy because I don't sleep much.
My back must hurt that's why I'm angry with sth.
I must be prone to hallucinations because I don't sleep well.
I am weird because I was raised in such a weird way.
I'm happy on that day because I was probably hyper.


My father was right. Don't share too much with idiots. You cannot take it back. I will look for ways to shut up, walk away, make grunting noises and play sudoku as much as possible. I still feel angry. Partly at myself for allowing idiots to ruin my day. For allowing myself to believe that we cannot do unto others what they do unto us. For believing that an eye doesn't always have to cost another eye. I always find myself walking away and think back about the incident....what i should have, could have and must have said.


Then I think about the futility of it all and wonder if it's worth bothering with humans at all.