of rainbows.

Dearest shadow,


this is another one of my unable-to-sleep-so-i'm-blogging posts. Yes. I am typecasting myself.


Basically, the thing that is keep me up is a living thing....she who has made it her mission to be incongruous, inconsistent and not to mention, insensitive.Since this is election period, I shall use that as a metaphor.


My dear government did a really good job when they started. Soild foundations were laid. People were helped whenever they fell down. Laws were put in place and those who defied were of course duly punished. People loved them.

After the age of 5, the nation was already up on its feet. Putting on shoes by itself, taking its own baths, carried a school bag and learned how to hold a pencil. The government was still there, loving and caring, holding hands and making sure baa baa black sheep was sung, the alphabets were in tune and the nation knew how to mind it's p's and q's.

The age of enquiry was beginning. From the age of 6, the baby nation knew a little bit more of the world. It was beginning to ask questions. Some were odd. Some demanded philosophical truths. and some just demanded the pure truth. The government was of course, stunned and overwhelmed at times. It did its best to keep up with the growing child. Whenever a difficult question was raised, the darling government just shut the nation up by saying, you're not old enough or that's the way it is or worse, I say its this way...so don't question it too much.

The government knew that a growth spurt was approaching so it braced itself. Making sure that all signs of opposition are met with and dealt with before they get out of hand. It did not care for self expression or understand the fact that this was perfectly natural. All that was necessary was some reverse psychology. Alas, fear, misunderstanding and the sheer need to prove dominance took over and the goverment reigned over what was nothing more than a phase, an unstoppable part of nature. It kept tabs. Privacy was not as important as making sure that the government knew what was happening. Who cared about the distrust this will breed? Nope. not the government.


By the late teen years, the nation knew that it was not normal for a government to behave this way. Other governments seemed to listen to their people. They cared alot and the nation was jealous that the government seemed to be giving preferential treatment to some new people. The nation convinced itself that it's probably just the novelty...it'll wear out...and it convinced itself that whatever the government was telling it was true. After all, the government had helped it up on its feet, fed it, watched its first steps and reprimanded it when necessary. Despite all the self convincing, the nation felt a slight jealousy, deep down...but kept it repressed, for fear and respect of the government.


Now into what we call the quarter century mark, the government continues to justify the mistakes it has made before. It makes sporadic apologies, but only when there are outcries, for attention and when in pain. The apologies are of course not completely sincere, since the government can blame inbuilt imperfections. The nation is tired. Its screaming for love and respect. It wants to be given all the perks that the government is giving the new people. Its been in pain for some time now. repressed anger and emotion have very little outlets. For the nation still knows better than to oppose the government. The backlash might be severe. Too severe for a nation that only wants undivided love. The nation, now learned and accomplished, voices out its concerns, points out the mistakes, sometimes gently, sometimes with sarcasm and sometimes with anger. The government is not willing to listen. It has done an amazing job so far and it will continue to do an amazing job. All you have to do is to listen -- something that the government is not willing to do....However, its about do as i say and not do as i do. Remember what john f kennedy said. ask not what the government can do for you. ask what you can do for the government.

The nation is confused. What is its role? if it is the government's job to listen to its people and care for its people because it chose to take the position, then why do the people need to abide by what the government says? The nation knows that it is kept in check by the government but who checks if the government makes a mistake?

And if the government says that it's true interests lie with the nation, then why is it intimidated by other nations? why does it have to explain its action and justify the nation's behaviour to other nations and their governments? Why does the governement need to please another when its sole duty lies with its own nation? While it is noble that the government helps others with nice gifts and loving visits, why does the government have to live by another's standards and try to please them? The nation is very confused. It tugs at the nation's outfit and says that its ok, we love you the way you are, please come back to us....we are a family, we need not please others. The nation is rudely shushed by the government and told to go to its room and stay there.

And of course, the nation abides. After all, the nation, which was raised well by its government, will stay true to its values despite its growth. It holds very little power and this is one of the reasons the nation has remained incorruptible because as we all know, power corrupts. The nation has very little power over its circumstances. It knows that it has much to repay the government. The shiny toys it has been given, the education, and not to mention, the plans for the future, decided well in advance by the government.


The nation does not know how long it will have to remain in the room. its silent revolts and protestations are heard by some support systems...who hold its hand and distract it a little. The nation wonders, if the day will come. It is positive the day will come.One day, when the nation leaves the government for another one, an adopted one, will the government mourn the loss of the nation's love? or will it stick to its beliefs, bloat its ego further and dig in its heels further to prove itself right.....?


The nation does not know. yet. There are no answers. it will have to wait like its six year old self, pacified with a lollipop in hand.... after all, while the nation knows why the sky is blue, its question about why there are only 7 colours in the rainbow remains yet to be answered. The nation will wait. For a change that may not come. the nation will be sad. Of course. For love is painful. And revolts have backlashes. The nation will wallow in self pity, reach for some pain medication, go online and browse political blogs. It will write a little, whimper and cry a little, rub pain cream all over and remind itself that while it many never know why there are 7 colours, it will always marvel at the beauty of a rainbow, at the fact that it is born of thunder, lightning and rain, at the fact that they share the same endless, unchanging, blue skies.........




and remind itself that rainbows are always worth living for.









P.s. Trying to stifle the sounds you make while you cry makes your lungs hurt. Very strange sensation.

P.P.S. I Pray, with everything I have, and everything I am, that I NEVER lose the ability to write. Its everything I am and my only solace sometimes.....