on tiredness.

Dearest shadow,

I received an article in my email. I do not check this particular email all the time. It contains lots of junk and I just happened to check it and saw it in my spam folder. It was well timed I think. Because, I'm once again tired of indulging other people's tiredness, whims and fancies.

I think that it is very selfish to be tired. And I think it's more selfish to complain about it. I think if you complain about something, you give it a lot of attention. A lot of passion. And what you think about and feel about passionately seems to intensify in your life. So if you are just ever slightly tired, and you make a bloody fuss about it, chances are, you're going to be tired tmrw as well. And what are you going to do the next day? BINGO! you're going to complain about being more tired. and I just wonder what will happen on consecutive days.....


So yes, you're tired. From what may I ask? Building the world's tallest building? Saving people from wreckage? Attending to other people's sickness? Dealing and listening to other people's psychological issues? Carrying dead bodies in and out of mortuaries? what can you possibly be tired of? That's right. Having to work a predictable 8 hour day. Having to take the train home. Having to make yourself something to eat and having to clean it up afterwards. Oh and of course, having to stretch to get the remote control. How can I forget that one....tsk tsk to me.


Sometimes, we need to put things in perspective. We need to weigh our tiredness on a scale. When you realise how lousy your tiredness really is, you'll just shut the hell up, take a shower, have your food and get yourself to bed.


I think I'm a different kind of tired. The kind of tired that involves being saturated with something. The kind of tired that needs some purging. I am tired to listening and entertaining other people's complaints about tiredness. Now, that's quite a mouthful. But yes. And I am tired of being patient. When do I get to be the one who gets all the unworthy attention? When do I get to shut people up? And why are people so damn nice to me when I am sick? I don't get it. I don't make a fuss when I am sick and I don't expect anyone to make a fuss of me when I sick.


I think I just answered my own question. I need to be sick. Feign illness all the time. Look for all means possible to be tired about. Let me start with being tired of listening. I think I am going to go to Daiso and buy myself some ear plugs. And then, I'm going to be tired of talking. I am going to mediate till the lord himself shows up and grants me Rani Mukherjee's husky, permanent-sore-throat voice. After which, I am going to be tired about caring. Because giving a damn takes up a lot of energy you know. What else can I be tired about? Yes! I am going to be tired about being tired. And after I experience that tiredness, I am going to be tired about that too! And after that, I will be so tired that I will need to take a nap so that I can be tired some more. So much effort right....What can I do to help myself??? hmmmm....I think I just had an epiphany!


I am going to transform myself into little miss selfish and be self-centered! It pays to be self centered you know. The man up there assigns some unsuspecting idiot to listen to all your crap. He also gets that person to do all your banking and some grocery shopping. Apart from this, you have a fully functional licence to spout all the verbal abuse and complaints you can possibly conjure up! You get your own airspace and you can take it up to any height you want! More than 3o thousand feet if you can! Isn't it amazing?


I know right!! Fill up the application form and send it real quick. To speed up the process, you might need to meditate on an image of the middle finger being held up to the larger society that surrounds you. Forget all your morals and values. Forget concepts of right and wrong. They are all maya! Once you have transfixed on that image, having given all abilities of self-regulation away, you will have successfully converted yourself into one of the selfish beings! And lo and behold! You'll magically be assigned with a nitwit to listen, entertain and absorb all of your selfish behaviour! It is just amazing.

Why try to beat them when you can join them? Join quick! Before all the nitwits are gone! Don't say I didn't warn you!


sigh. :/

I am just angry. More often at myself for being one of the nitwits. Because I tolerate and propagate the very thing I despise. By tolerating the nonsense, I let it grow. By going against it, I only add fuel to the fire. I don't believe that people who do not seem to deserve love usually need it the most. Because, if love was a commodity, it should still be given to people who know and appreciate its value, even if given in small doses. And if anyone should start, it should be the selfish people. They should have received enough love right. More than their fair share I'd say. Its the hoarders who should start sharing first.


I'd like to be tired now. Good night.


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Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to be positive right out the window. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of negativity.

1. Let the Negativity Pass
Whatever you do, do not argue with a negative person. Arguing only adds fuel to the fire. A negative person will feed off any negativity that will strengthen his mood or attitude. I have noticed when my children are in a crabby mood, it is best to avoid trying to convince them to analyze and adjust their attitude. As soon as I take the approach of being in opposition with them, they seize the opportunity to prove to me that life stinks. Their negativity intensifies and the situation gets worse before it gets better. Sometimes the best thing to do is remain silent and let the negativity pass.

2. Negative People Need Love
You know how difficult it can be to give love and positive attention to negative people. Unfortunately, that is often exactly what they need. Deep inside that mean and critical person is a person that is usually afraid he or she is unlovable. It is our challenge to rise above the negative attitude and love the injured person inside. How do you show love when someone is negative? You must listen to what she is trying to tell you. Acknowledge the feelings she has by saying something like, "You sound very angry right now". Even if you don't quite understand the person's feelings, know that your reality is different than someone else's. Ask how you might help the negative person. This shows legitimate interest in her happiness. Offer a hug even if you get rejected. Remember not to take a rejection of your love personally. A negative person often has difficulty receiving love from others.

3. Focus on the Positive
If you try really hard, there is always something positive to be found in any situation. Pretend you are on a treasure hunt and search for any gold or jewels you can emphasize. Even a negative person has positive qualities. When a person is drowning in negativity, it can be difficult for them to see the positive. So often my clients focus on the negative aspects of themselves. They forget about all the great things they are doing. I admit that sometimes a negative person doesn't want to see the positive. This might require her to shift her outlook. Negativity can become a habit and habits are hard to break. Be patient and gently remind your grumpy friend or family member to look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Hopefully, in her down time, she will begin to reflect on what you have said.

4. Ask Negative People to Elaborate
You may hear a negative person say things like: "Women are fickle." "You can't trust doctors." "My husband makes me miserable." These kinds of statements are a type of cognitive distortion referred to as generalizations. To help a person sort through her distorted thinking, ask for more specifics. Questions like "Which women are fickle?" or "What specifically about your husband is making you miserable?" force a person to evaluate what he or she is really trying to say. A negative person will either give up because it takes too much effort to explain himself, or he or she will get to the bottom of the issue.

5. Detach and Avoid Trying to Change the Negative Person
Learning to detach emotionally from a negative person can greatly benefit you and the other person. A negative person will fight you if you try to change them. If you want, you can try a little reverse psychology and agree with everything she says. I once read a great article about a mother who was exasperated with her son's negative mood. Everything she tried to soothe him and make him feel better backfired. She finally gave up and started agreeing with everything he said. When her son told her his friends were mean, she agreed with him. When he complained that his teacher didn't know anything, she couldn't agree more. After several minutes of this kind of dialogue with her son, his mood suddenly shifted. He declared that he was tired and he went to bed with a smile on his face.

6. Stay Away from Negative People
If you have negative people in your life that are critically affecting your mental and physical health, you need to evaluate whether or not you want these people in your life. Some people are so chronically negative that you have no other choice but to remove them from your life. It's possible to do that with friends. You can find another job if your boss or other co-workers are bringing you down. Other people, such as children and spouses, are difficult to remove from your life. In this instance, professional counseling may be the answer. To protect your well being, you need to enforce very strong boundaries with negative people.

7. Keep Your Own Negative Thoughts and Behaviors in Check
If you do nothing else but focus on managing your own negative thoughts and behavior, you will come a long way towards remaining positive. A negative attitude is contagious, but a positive attitude is infectious as well. Hang out with positive people that encourage you to be your best self. Use positive affirmations to overcome negative self-talk. Express your gratitude for all the positive things in your life. Take the time everyday to watch all the beautiful things going on around you. Read inspirational material and listen to joyful music. Take care of yourself spiritually. Do whatever you have to do to remain positive and happy despite the negativity you face.

The world will be a better place because of you and your attitude. And you never know, you just might help a negative person make a change to a better way of living.