random thoughts.

Dearest shadow,


I was just reading back at me old entries and I realised i've not written about anything nice! I've been letting mean people and my very human insecurities get to me! tsk tsk!


Right. where were we...ah yes.


This year started rather well. Although some annoying shadows (no not you...) of last year were lingering, I think god was rather nice to me. So what should we do when he's nice? we pay him a visit! yes! So you take a spontaneous trip. You book an air ticket and you fly! Alone! woohoo!


I got the window seat, flirted with a rather handsome aircrew person who just happened to stumble when putting luggage on top...and he almost sat on me as I was moving into my seat. And, for the record, he smelled really nice...told me about this plans to go to hanoi and gave me a pack of peanuts. There's just something about flying. It's like you're laughing in the face of gravity.


So yea. Saying hi and thankew to god was nice. There was a certain familiarity to it. Solace. and a quiet joy to feel so small next to him. I flew back alone and though it was a short flight, I made a little list of the things i've grown in. One of them was Faith. I am not particularly religious. But I'm certainly very spiritual. I think i've been able to accept that things happen for a reason and I do my best to look for the lesson. I just smile when weird coincidences happen and I no longer question things too much. I kinda take it on with some blind faith.


I think all the events that have happened since november were mostly a case of you're-just-asking-for-it. I didn't care for proper record management. I don't care for evidence. And i certainly do not believe in pleasing people - especially those who give almost reverential respect to ink printed on bleached pulp. What's that called again? oh yes! PAPERWORK!


hah. i don't think i will ever make peace with it. I don't think I will ever stop complaining. But, don't we all live with things we don't want? At least I can eat, breathe and walk with a skip in my step knowing that I've about 80% of the things I need/want. And 20% of all the other crap.


Well, it has to go somewhere right?