blahs.

dearest shadow,


its been some time. i know. the past few weeks has been quite a ride. i never thought that i'd live in singapore without internet access for two weeks. yes. that's no typo. two weeks.


i took up an interesting job those two weeks. i did some faclilitating work for a summer programme held in singapore and it was an interesting experience. meeting people from different countries is really an eye opener. you'd think that asians are usually very conservative and quiet and mild mannered. well, think again. and you'd usually expect singaporeans to be exceptionally spoilt and unable to leave their comforts behind. well, no.


i had someone come up to me and ask me if they had to walk to the canteen. i simply wasnt able to get it that they were appalled at the fact that they had to walk. their princely feet have never touched ground unnecessarily. and the other one, knocked my door at 7 am in the morning, woke up a sleeping beast -- yes, me, and told me that its raining. took me a while to get it that she didnt want to leave the hostel simply cuz the weather wasnt very conducive for her. another one, knocked and told me she'd be cold since its raining outside -- so what you want me to do?


yes. i know i exaggerate. but thats when i'm being theatrical. i'm dead serious here. did i mention they brushed with mineral water? even after a visit to the newater plant? yea...really.


i think that i may take many things for granted in my country but i can switch to foreign land mode whenever i leave my country. i know that buses dont have ez link cards and i dont complain to wait for 2 hours for a coach to arrive when i complain for a nine min train to jurong east.


yes. thats me. ah well.


on a more serious note, the time to change my ez link card has arrived -- abit too soon and i've many important decisions to make at this time of year. i have many graduation related decision to make. to work or not to work. to get another job or not. to save up every bit or to spend on fixing my spine. to take up a programme or not to. to find an internship in sg or elsewhere. to leave sg or not to. i dont know. i have so many questions and no answers. i think i've repeated that last sentence on my blog so many times its going to be a case of deja vu for those who read me.

there's this note stuck to the inside of my cupboard. "if i knew where i'd be here today, how easily i could have brushed my fears away" i wonder if thats my eternal optimist or a very foolish teenager talking. where do i go from here?


i feel mentally exhausted and i almost felt like i dont want to do any more reading.


for now:
dance like no one's watching.
get daily dose of caffeine
play with rubik's cube.
stare out into the sky
and to hell with cleaning my room. my parents will miss the mess when i'm gone someday. let them enjoy it while they can. ;)


btw, suzy just lost curly. she had to be put to sleep for a kidney failure. beautiful creature she was. 14 nice years. there'll be no one to scratch the phone receiver the next time i call suzy. at least she's no longer suffering. rip curly. i'll miss you.