pains.

dearest shadow,

I've been in pain since march started. some mental, emotional and physical pain. and i mean this in the most normal sense possible. mental pain because i've been worrying about alot of things and i never really did get myself anywhere. when they say that worry is like a rocking chair, they mean it. it does not get you anywhere. you sit there and it give you something to do. but not anything to change. and your brain aches after a while. and you get a splitting headache. my brand of headaches.


and then this triggers the whole emotional mish-mash of things. the heart aches when you know that things are changing. that they'd not be the same anymore. and that you have to learn and behave like a grown up when all you are is an 8 year old who wants her push pop to never never dissolve. i believe that the heart is nothing more than a pump. it cant feel. my heart is in my brain. somewhere in the deep irrational recesses of my mind. and guess what, more headache.


and if you've seen me recently, nobody punched me. i went for a wisdom tooth surgery and my right cheek is protruding from my face. more so after the surgery. and in case you're wondering why its not an extraction but a surgery, its because it set me back about 745 dollars. yep. take your jaw off the floor. i don't have the luxury of letting my jaw drop cuz i'm pretty much eating rice with soft stuff. like well cooked potatoes, or eggs. i didnt even eat milo powder in a week. you've got to pity me for that. i have 8 days off from school. and my wisdom tooth is on my table. i feel less wiser now. ah well...


i get the feeling that i'll be mucking around and complaining about school work soon. specially with all the reading to be done. sigh........


will be off now. ciao!