post siem reap

Dearest shadow,

lets start with the obvious shall we? its the new year. or rather, a week past the new year. dont ask me for my resolutions yet. cuz i havent gotten around to writing them down. i did do a simple one and mailed it to myself. but yea. thats about it.

2008 ended really well. and i'm really glad i went out of my usual ways and got me to the interview. i think it was a wonderful journey. one that i'll take again and again without fear or deja vu or fear of losing the magic. the entire country is full of magic dust. the moment you step on the tarmac, you just sense it.

i intended to blog everyday in siem reap. i had a wonderful time and now i regret not penning my thoughts down so that i can read back at it and reminisce. for the most part, i was tired. for the other part, the internet wasnt always fast and all of us were using it...so yea. but yes. its and excuse and i know that i have been making lots of those last year.

i got my results back. its pretty much a bummer. and i expected some of it to turn out that way...but well, the heart always wishes that some miracle will happen. did i mention that i saw a shooting star in siem reap? it was when we went in the monster truck. i hope that was a shooting star...

2009 will be a big year for me. i have so many things ahead of me. and sometimes i feel so troubled by it all. i keep thinking of one thing i want to do at the end of 2009 and i hope that it goes well for me. really.


siem reap has changed me. as an individual and as a creature who wears many masks -- daughter, sister, friend etc etc. i realised how lonely we are in this world. and perhaps how lonely i like to be.

i took so many pictures in siem reap and its impossible to post it all. i've put em all up in facebook. and when i look back at it, it feels flat. when i look at my own hearty laughter captured in the photo, i just yearn for more. for the real experience. not the 2 dimensional composition of colours and hues. sigh.


i just took a break from blogging to look thru the pics...and i'm close to tearing. i guess i'll end here for today. will blog again. soon i hope

:)

ciao!