22

Dearest shadow.

i guess i owe it to myself to type out a post today. Dont ask me why. and yes. it will be banal. do read though.

alright then. what did i do this week you ask? that too on me special day? yes yes. i can see that lightbulb near your head. This year's birthday is kinda normal really. I've almost always spent my b'days with someone special and this year i didnt get that chance. but i guess i'm really alright with it. I'm glad that i'm loved and remembered and that people have such wonderful wishes for me.

I was born on a monday. and this year, my birthday was on a monday. I was listening to my dad narrate how i was born and how i didn't cry properly. i actually saw my dad first when i opened my eyes...and mom was saying that she did not see me till the next day...when i was delivered to my parents the nurses had wrapped me in bundles and bundles of cloth...my parents were kinda excited that they had such a big baby...only to unwrap all the cloth to find a scrawny baby inside. heh. actually i wasn't that scrawny when i was born....just became that way i guess. :P

ah well.

ms sun rays, aka rush-me, thank you for your gifts. actually, it was well timed. you see, I had an open book literature exam on the 16th and i tend to get very anxious with open book exams because of all the noisy flipping that you need to do...and lit majors write alot! and having that bookmark was all i needed to keep me from hyperventilating. and it put a smile on my face too. thanks alot darling. muacks.


i secretly acknowlege that i'm blessed. sometimes the heart just yearns for things despite knowing their impermanence. i may not be able to do somethings as i grow older. i know that we almost always regret the things that we did not do as opposed to the things that we did do. we are able to forgive ourselves for the pain and the hurt we cause or face along the way. but somewhere in the deepest recesses of our brain, there lurks the sad feelings and brutal truths that we cannot do certain things...or experience them again. as much as i believe that all our physical, emotional experiences and memories exist only in the realm of the mind, i cannot help but subvert my own beliefs once in a while and wish for them again and again.

My wish for myself is that as i grow older, i will find peace within my soul, take the counsel of the years gently and realise that i'm a beautiful creation of god albeit my dark panda eyes...not something made out of a cookie cutter...and that i need to step out of my perishable body to see that i truly am special and i deserve to be recognised that way.


right. now, i'm going to prance around me house.