blab.

Dearest shadow...

blogging oft puts me in a pensive mood. lately, I've not been having things so great. and yes. thats my way of saying that you cant blame me for not blogging.

right. so lets get to it. my little greek tragedy.

i've been having tonnes of doubts in my head for the longest time. its almost as if i can hear different parts of my brain talking to me. yes. you heard me right. my brain talking to me. last time i checked, it wasnt schizophrenia. now, i'm diagnosing myself. and i think its that ignored part of my "heart".

you see, i dont believe that people should follow their heart. because the heart doesnt do anything but sit there and pump blood and accumulate cholesterol. its not even a pretty organ. i think people should think with their brains and i think that the "heart" is actually in the brain. follow?

yes. my heart has been talking to me for quite sometime now. especially when i feel jealous of some people who seem to have it much easier than me. and people whom always get their path cleared out for them. and i feel angry for being such a push over sometimes.

i wonder if i'll ever be able to accept some of my mistakes as part of growing up...or will i always look back and condemn myself harshly? and will i ever voice out that i think some people should just shoot themselves in their mouth? i wont shoot those people in their skulls. they probably got a thick one anyway.

life's going in a slightly different direction now. I hope to be content with it. I've been losing my patience alot more now and i am taking it out on the people closest to me. sometimes inanimate objects. but people mostly. I'm sorry if you've been the victim. I dont intend to do that. my brain is full of mush when i get angry. i generally keep my cool...at least as a facade...but i do have my violent outbursts. mr bubbly: thank you for listening to me.

lets close the curtain on this then....

I'm going to be in another performance this september. its on the 27th. and yes, its just sectionals but i'm glad to be performing for just one reason. my dear kaki decided that she'll join me in it. whats a journey without a travelling companion eh? i hope that'll go well. and my next performance will be in october for navaratri. as usual. those who always come will know where. i'll give you regular "fans" more details on that....if i get around to blogging that is. heh.

i've got alot of things lined up this year. i've got a trip coming up after my papers. and i'm looking forward to that. as soon as i get to meet the people, things will be in full swing. will update. if i dont, you can nag me. i promise i'll listen.

and i always keep my promises.

;)