writing and slaving.

Dearest shadow,


this will be a quickie. Its 2.20 am and i actually feel sleepy. perhaps due to the fact that i have my feminism term proposal to do and my body is resisting it. for some reason, i need a deadline to push me to do something. perhaps because its so unpleasant to start in the first place. and the more i force myself to do it because i need to, the more my 23 year old body behaves like my 8 year old body.


It triggers a headache. perspiration. sneezing. and sleep.


I tell myself that i paid 910 points for this module and waited 2 years to do it. i tell myself that i'm not going to end up intelligentsia because i did not do just british and world literature. i did film. and i did cultural studies. all those that i could possibly do without preclusions. exclusions. and television. (hah. i cant rhyme for nuts.)


medicine majors become doctors. engineering majors become engineers. law majors become lawyers. literature majors become literate. arts majors become artists. and i do mean that in the most serious un-cocky in-your-face way possible.


if i hear one more person tell me that an arts/literature major has it easy, i'm so going to fume and slap their face. at least metaphorically. because here i am, at 2.20 am slogging, tolerating chronic back pain, killing braincells and fighting sleep to develop critical thinking skills and be a well-read broad-minded person. something that i can never do by pressing calculators or trying to save the world population from skin cancer.


and if one more person tells me that arts majors can only teach, i'm going to stare intensely at them to the point they should feel like melting and for mother earth should just swallow them whole.


and a certain person who collected $3 and owes me a cd for over a year will really really regret saying one more nasty thing about an arts major. i can break your soul with just my words. last time i did that, i was nasty enough to earn myself more than my fair share of enemies. but i dont mind doing that again. i was born cold naked and hungry. but i was born with self respect. and pride. i'm a fire-libran-tiger. watch it.


right. i'm just going to save my doc file an slave over bibliography 15 mins before feminism class.


nites. (i ought to do more essays so i can sleep better.)