yesterday

dearest shadow...

been wanting to blog for almost 4 days....especially yesterday....but today is the only day i managed to get hold of the computer....

i've managed to keep myself busy since the A's ended....yesterday, there was nothing much for me to do....i woke up...went for music class...and 45 mins was spent tuning the instrument cuz the wonderful people who came in late didnt have the courtesy to inform earlier...otherwise we'd tuned and kept it ready when they came....didnt manage to play the song properly....didnt play properly...felt completely disappointed with myself...


dont know why but my fingers are slipping off....thats kinda wierd.....have gotten so many cuts and stuff....suddenly the smallest cut broke my concentration....when i think back at it, i realised that it was my favourite song....i even played it on stage....there was so much practice and yet i wasnt able to play it....haiz....disappointment....

went home early....really early...reached home at 3.20 and i realised that since morning, i hadnt spoken to a single soul....even in class.....i was silent.....

home was silent....thought of playing the vina...then again.....my fingers betrayed me........

the silence killed me...and yet it felt strangely familiar.....lay in the swing and let it rock me.....i always get some solace when i lie in my swing....its rocked me to sleep many a time....since childhood.....suddenly i missed my 6 foot pink panther....used to hug it and sleep with it and i pretended like it could speak and hug me back.....needed to be held for a moment....

the familiar rocking sound broke the silence....that was all i needed at that point.....indulged in that creaking and the sound of water falling.....felt the sheepskin underneath.....curled myself up....and let the swing rock me into slumberland.....

i miss my pink panther....wherefore art thou?