irregardless.

dearest shadow,


i've had nothing to sew this week. no torn clothes. no silk brocade cushion covers. nothing. i've a metre of blue polka dotted cotton sitting in my cupboard. cuz i dont know how to cut materials. what did i do when i had the chance to learn costume making from the people who made costumes for the drama club? i sat around backstage and had fun with anagrams....and i played around with the walkie talkie and gossiped about the vain pot who was undeserving to get the main part. made origami with the scripts that people left behind and watched them get scolding later on...


yes.


the costume people were bored to death backstage and they were fascinated with my bone structure. and they made me custom clothes for my prefects' investiture. and custom shoes. and they had a cast of my feet. what did i do with my perfectly white custom investiture outfit? i gave it away. and i didnt take the cast home. didnt bother to ask how to make the cast. and didnt pay attention when they showed me how to make the shoes!


now i dont have access to an art studio. or sewing room. or woodshop. cant play with clay. or cloth. or freak people out with my wide eyed expression when play carelessly with the enormous green drills....


now that i'm at home, i have lots of time and i see all the things i can fix. chipped wood. torn stuff. all my mother's 10 dollar shoes. i enjoy doing stuff like that.... but i didnt care to learn. so all this free time goes to washing the kitchen, doing the laundry and cleaning the house more often the usual....Oh and pouring over last saturday's recruit paper, applying for all the teaching jobs that my mom highlights for me.


lesson learnt: most things are learning opportunities. and time is really precious. and sudden inspiration is priceless. and i've been blessed with them. but god realised i was lazy, complacent and more interested in ice cream, milo powder and squeezing pimples. so he decided to let me feeeeel the absence of all those things. sigh...


Perhaps if i did those things, i'd be really excited and motivated to do something new. I probably wouldnt be wasting time with maniacal self editing of cover letters and wondering what poststructuralists will say about the word irregardless.


is it a word. or not. hmmmm.