Siem Reap take 2

dearest shadow,


I'm sitting in my 10 dollars a night hotel room and i still cant believe that i'm here. Again. Its amazing. But its also slightly scary. all those scary stuff that people tell warn you about starts to get to your head.

I know the place. Well enough. I know i want to see more. I miss the place. and then all those unnecessary warnings start to come into your head. about getting lost, about losing your items. about being ripped off. and about two girls travelling alone. its gets to me.


i've left a messy cupboard and alot of library fines behind. some unpaid bills. and its like oh no! but it isnt. the world wont fall apart. i want to escape the nagging and yet its like i'm afraid that i'll get nagged for not paying my bill on time. not cleaning my room well enough. etc. etc. whyyy. serious nonsense right? well. yes.


I'm sleep deprived. I've been up since yesterday. spent the night away in the airport. and boarded the plane and here i am. i ought to really enjoy myself. this is my graduation trip right? right. and a piece of good news.

I passed all my modules this sem. and i've gotten my degree. I didnt get an amazing CAP. i know. i've been lazy. and very unmotivated. for the most part, i was very unmotivated and sometimes i bought into what people said and felt like it really was a waste to do literature. but well. i have a degree.


so i'm going to try and let it all go. thank god i didnt rush into enjoying myself immediately. i probably wouldnt have been able to. . . . . .I'm going to work hard come january. I am. I hope to fine peace and hope from this little retreat before plunging headlong into job hunting...Give it to me please.


Let the healing/happiness/transformation/loveliness begin. muahhs.