headache.

dearest shadow,

there's so much i want to blog about. so much i want to say.

watching mj's live concerts,
house painting
orchestra practices
navarathi performance pieces
insights into my future (husband!)
being sober and my decaffeinated week.
epiphanies about the night sky
my deteriorating sensitive skin condition
spine aching, bolster keeps falling down, fan makes lots of noise
stupid dream i had last night
my room cleaning phase 17 progress. yea. you know i clean my room in phases. now in phase 17.

but i'm having my splitting headache. my fingers cooperate. my eyes are not complaining. my thoughts are not running. i'm not digressing. the night is beautiful. i just had a bath. ive eaten to my fill. and i smell nice. ideal conditions to blog.

but my head doesnt want to co operate. despite me smelling like a newborn baby.

i've typed this far, and my head is almost falling off to one side. i'm reaching for my tiger balm and arthritis cream. and i'm not going to even proofread this post. (i will, maybe tmrw.)

that ought to tell you how bad the headache is.



wont god just liberate me from all this pain? am i not cursed enough with lower back pain? and asian american literature? whose lecture i'm not going to bother to wake up for.....i'm torturing myself with another list in my head...


no one listens. my body doesnt listen to me.


shootme. please. its painful to be paining all the time.