screwed vs screwit-ism

Dearest shadow...

i'm feeling really cheated at this moment.

I can't believe that i have been "kicked" out of my own group. What tHE?!?!?! Hello? this is MY group and you are just a lousy member. dont you dare kick me out!

i was doing this short film for a film art module. First things first, for someone who doesnt bother wasting time watching movies, its kinda paradoxical to enroll in a film art module but then again, thank god the films are art films. i mean i still cant believe some people can pay nine bucks to a watch commercial crap and cheap romance for the sake of it.

ok that's another issue. lets get back. this stupid group comprises me, kev and this stupid chinese girl and another two foreigners. bascially, i'm the singaporean. aka, the loser who can be stepped on cuz she's oh so nice. and these people decided alot of rubbish on their own and couldnt be bothered to update the loser, aka, me...and then they decided that i DIDNT CONTRIBUTE to the film so they went and told the dear tutor that i was a free rider. how juvenile. geez.

EXCUSE ME? forgive me for being xenophobic or just plain rascist. but what part of you being YELLOW allows you to make decisions and JUDGE people's ability based on their SKIN COLOUR? i should laugh at you cuz you're lacking in melanin and you cant walk from LT11 to admin block without getting partially cooked.

you think you're the whites of this country? and what are we then? sewage? and i dont understand which part of you being a foreigner allows you to judge my ability to do something based on my NATIONALITY. so what if you're bloody american? or a freaking INDIA indian that makes you better than me? and if it does, what is your ass doing in the national university of stairs? doesnt it have a NATIONALITY tag at the end of its NAME?

you're younger than me DAMMIT! dont talk to me like you know the world. bet you dont know which floor to take the boon lay train from at City hall station. and you dont even have an A level qualification. so just shut the fuck up and get your ass back to your own country. seriously, this country was a better place without such twits around. there was a time where you could walk into a train and see plain old singaporeans fighting for a seat though they are getting off at the next station. the time when EZ-link cards were not invented and a bowl of mee soto cost a dollar 20 cents at the hawker.

my blood is boiling so much that it might just evaporate. y'know what, someday, i might hold a world record for being a singaporean in singapore. ooooooh. scary. we're being invaded. and their famous question is "oh my god, you mean you're singaporean?" next time, i should answer i'm japanese or something.

forgive me here. i don't believe in discriminating people. i strongly believe in egalitarianism. i believe there is one race. that is humanity. i dont believe in colour or language, nationality or make-up for that matter cuz when you die, you cant bring this to god and exchange it for a one way ticket to heaven. and i dont believe that there are a million gods in one religion and one god in another. and i dont believe that you cannot pray to "another god" cuz they are from another religion. if you believe there is a god, and you have the heart to pray, then just pray dammit. god's not gonna say that you're not the same colour so i aint gonna bless you. if that's the case, the jesus should have come down and chased me outta the church.

i'm getting sick with such people. people who can only see differences. and see no good in anyone. i find it hard to believe that its your foreign culture. and i cant believe such people are in a university. i mean, isnt this place for educated people? dude, you aint educated. you're sick in the head. check yourself into an asylum. and to think i was losing my mind.

otherwise join me. i'm in the process of writing the holy book of my self-created religion. screwit-ism. the belief systems include: seeing all living things as one. be it a fish, tree bark or your hot neighbour. traditional costumes: any season colours from topshop, mango and giordano. minus the cleavage thank you very much. place of worship: willy wonka's chocolate factory. holy chocolate cleansing is part of the worship. the holy trinity: Shakespeare, sylvia plath, enid blyton.

so join me.


the only demons we have to fight are the demons that reside in the hearts of men.