midterm crisis

dearest shadow...

i'm feeling strangely insecure at this moment....and yes, i still cant sleep...not cuz i'm bothered or anything....hardly anything bothers me these days....maybe i've started turning into a rock or sth....but thats besides the point...

the point is that, i'm insecure abt my mid terms...they stealthily crept up on me...while rehearsals are STILL going on, i'm really hoping that both will turn out just fine and i dont have to pray for the earth to swallow me up whilst i'm on stage....

which brings me to my next point...its been so long since i did anything to do with the stage that i feel like a foreigner when i climb up there...dont even talk abt reciting shakespeare....i'm worried my hands might just freeze for a second or sth....touch wooood....

i've always admired a certain someone for their carefree lifestyle...and a casual conversation actually required the Oxford English Dictionary...apparently, the trick to leading a carefree life requires you to be care-free....who'd thought it'll be that simple?

sheesh. what they say is right...the older you grow, the more you complicate things....my bro asks me the answer to sth and i decide that i'd have to use trigonometry and algebra and indices to find it out...i got the right answer...but the little fella got it right the first time too....and he didnt even use the calculator....geez...


you know what, think i'll have a go at this care-free life....i mean, how many people actually care whether you care? and how many people would mind if you dont? and how many curse when you do? hah...i cant count using my fingers and that means that its too many....so i'm simply going to care for people who care....caring any less will be careless....heh....i love word play...

but seriously, i think i ought to do it...after all, i'd rather love and care for myself...and my toes and my pretty feet....

:)



P.S. i need a miracle. god, please send me one. i'll pay for it with my gratitude. truly.