alter ego

dearest shadow...

think my sleeping patterns have been altered....

so much so that to kill boredom, i blog....more often than usual....then i end up not having enough sleep so i sleep till quite late in the morning...but somehow, when 6 or 7 hours is reached, i wake up...so yea...thats why i'm blabbering half the time....i'm not sure if i make sense though...who cares anyway?

got back my saree from the tailor...half of the pallu, or the portion which hangs off your shoulder, seems to be missing....and i've got a butchered piece of cloth instead....maybe i'll sew myself a handphone pouch...but seriously, why cut up a saree just cuz it doesnt conform to the so called theme of the concert pieces? the beauty of the saree is the fact that anyone can drape it...truly, i think its the only thing that's FREE SIZE...oh well, the consolation is that the blouse is nicely done...

i know you're quite sick of listening to my ranting about the concert...sorry...cant help it...i dont mean to brag or anything...but of all the performances i've been in, this one doesnt quite have the thrill...maybe its not kicking into full gear yet...

bleah....

anyway i was kinda upset that i didnt get published....nan*, my dear friend consoled me with a warm smile and said that i can always try again....thank you my dear....think i'll pick up the pen....and do it...perhaps old school....sometimes, staring at a blinking cursor just makes the mental block worse....but it never seems to intimidate me when i'm writing to my shadow....

before you think that what i'm doing is personification, i'd like to point out that the shadow i speak to is as much alive as i am....and as much a person as i am....only that its a muted, patient and listening version....that which i am not....an alter ego of sorts...just like my vina....its living, but not breathing...but reflecting and nurturing emotions that i do not identify although they exist within me...hmmmm....i never thought of it that way till now actually....surprised at myself...heh....

so i guess i found my alter ego....maybe i was searching for it subconsciously...and thats why i've been writing about concerts all the while.....hmmmmmmm....maybe eh?

i'm glad anyways....cuz i managed to rant....aaaaaaaaaand my bed looks too inviting to resist....im getting a feeling i'm gonna dream abt ponies and chocolate waterfalls tonight....

ciao!