random blah

dearest shadow...


the past two weeks have been a serious blast...and no i've not been roaming around in town again...i've been feeling this overwhelming sense of freedom lately....and for some odd reason, i dont quite enjoy all of it....

wierd eh? why am i not enjoying it? well... the answer is simple....the more freedom that you get, the more responsibilities that you have thrust upon yourself....and as much as i like growing up and telling people what to do instead of being barked at, i would love to be back to early teenage life...be a blur goondu and blame everything on hormones...

heh. how nice eh? now you know why...

but on to more inspiring things....i think that in the last two weeks, i found my muse...again, as with everything that life throws at you, this muse was flung right at my face....perhaps because the higher beings realised that i just dont notice things around me unless they come right in front of my face....

the more i think about it, the more i feel like banging my head on the wall...i mean...its been there...all along...and i've been looking for inspiration in all the wrong places....sigh...humans are so wierd....i guess i should say that i'm wierd...but i'm in self denial...

i finally got some sort of writing out....i am hoping for its publication and at the same time, i'm actually questioning whether it really is good enough....i just seem to find a problem with everything actually...perfectionism....i cant seem to let go of it...

speaking of which...i am not at the peak of my performance for the show...and no its not even at mediocre level...and the show is in how many months? or wait...perhaps we should count in days...and then slowly in hours and minutes....i'm not going to do that right now....as much as i pride myself on being a realist, i'm just not in the mood to embrace reality right now....

Thaipusam was really great....and there was this caucasian guy who observed the strict fasting and he carried the milk pot all the way...i was so fascinated...so was he....i smiled at him...and he smiled back...and showed me his body and said

i'm part of a miracle! no scars no nothing...and i'm feeling better than i've ever been

i smiled and said...god is indeed great...and he held his palms out for me so that i could get some of the holy ash from him....truly, i feel blessed on that day....the vibes just make everything worth it... :)

i should not say this...but because i like to speak my mind, i will....not only is he into spirituality, he's kind and just SUPER hot...looks abit like jude law actually....suz, just to annoy you....lemme brag that i've met my version of jude law...heheheh...

alrighty...if this post bored you, my apologies....cuz my life is quite boring at the moment...i think i'll try and figure out how adobe photoshop works...

till later.