drowning

Dearest shadow....

i'm still drowing. send me a circular thingy which i can use to float! did i mention that i always fell out of those things? that's how i learnt how to swim.

right. drowning in what you ask?

music. the concert was on 6th october. and it was nice to be backstage again. that deja vu
feeling you get. all happy and fuzzy. was cursing and swearing that i would not get thru the week.

But i guess time will pass you by whether or not you curse and swear...suzy thought it was a good show...our ramblings in chinese was well, finally carried out. we went shopping. got the goods. all i have to do it wrap it up with tonnes of newspaper and then stick it with duct tape. orrrr...i could just wrap it up decently with the intelligent invention called wrapping paper. yeah. think i'd do that.

speaking of which, i get this real sick feeling in my tummy when i think of modules pulling down my cap. pray. pray. pray. and work. more.

sometimes i sit in bed and just worry. i dont quite know how to get out of all these annoyingly destructive habits. i know its not good. and yet i continue to do it. i mean, its stupid right? just downright lame assed.

just go ask nan when i said i'll run. i have everything ready. well, almost. but really. almost everything is ready and yet, i still cant seem to just find the time. god. can you just come down with a seriously scary trident and just stick it infront of my forehead? then perhaps i'll do it. its almost like i have this alter ego which wants this oh so perfect stuff and this anti-hero who decides that i have too much of a good thing and stops me dead in my tracks.

the protagonist and antagonist, both in one person. yea. i know thats plain wierd or schizophrenic. i'm the former. not the latter. nan said so.