resurrect.

dearest shadow...

yes i'm alive. i dont feel particularly cheery today though...in fact my soul feels like it needs nourishment...and in order to find that sustenance i thought that maybe it would be best to have some time alone...to listen to my thoughts in this mad rush...and so everytime i popped into this library and saw our friendly librarian 'the shark', i resisted the familiar motion of producing my card at her face and get a computer.....


now, close to half a month later, you ask what nourishment i found....that's a good question...upon opening up the hefty, dusty windows and letting precious sunlight in, i realised that i have really been doing a lot of muddled up lopsided all over the place kind of thinking...and upon prodding further, i realised that i have more questions than answers...and i have little people in my life who would be able to answer those questions...i'm certainly not going to ask them out loud to anyone...

there was this sheet of paper that was passed around and i saw my grades on that paper...in those grades i saw myself...haiz...and for the first time i sat in the second row of LT4 starin up at the screen with L1R5's on the left and expected grades on the right...from the second row they all looked really BIG...and yes...scary...i grabbed my water bottle and gulped the last 200ml down and took another look...yes...it was there....i've seen it before but...yea...from the 2nd row its was HUGE...

alrighty then, i shant go into details but several incidents and thought processes made me feel shaken....

my soul is fine...its finding its fighting spirit...i'll get it soon...i promise...

cookie, if you feel like crying..just do...it makes you feel better...and honey...i love you...